Never mind “Is there life after death?” That is too abstract. What I really want to Know is: “Is there sex after marriage?”
One of George Bernard Shaw’s often quoted sayings observes that marriage remains popular because it combines “the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.” Usually, Shaw’s epigrams are quite pithy; but in this instance, he is mistaken. A honeymoon might well combine temptation with opportunity, but cohabitation does not, especially if the marriage is of long duration. Familiarity need not breed contempt, but it very often does breed sexual apathy.
What was passion in a marriage can become so vitiated, so watered-down, and so dissipated that it is hardly worthy of the name. In some marriages, perhaps in many, the act of love becomes an act of sex and an infrequent one at that. When you have reached the stage where you make love on Saturday nights, and Saturday nights only; when you have reached the stage where you have sex rather than making love, only late on Saturday nights in the dark; and when you have reached the stage when you have sex on Saturday nights only, late at night in the dark and quickly, without words, then you have reached the stage where you owe it to yourself to take a lover. You owe it to yourself, not only for the desolation you experience now, but also for the desolation you will feel when you are old and look back on thirty years of such encounters—one thousand and forty consecutive Saturday nights of minimal fulfillment.
You owe it to the old lady you will become to give her something better than those passionless encounters to reminisce about and then either exaggerate or deny, depending on your perspective.
- I don’t want sex with my husband. What should I do? (ask.metafilter.com)
- Why You Shouldn’t Compromise on Sex (bigthink.com)
- Rethinking Bedroom Play. (elephantjournal.com)
- Boredom in Marriage: An Excuse or Reason? (anatomyofaffairs.wordpress.com)
- Girls Will be Girls: Sampling the Wild Rhubarb (pickingalover.wordpress.com)
- Sexual Affairs: The Extramarital Connection (pickingalover.wordpress.com)
- Head Sex and the Emotional Affair (psychcentral.com)