How to Pick a Lover

Posts tagged ‘realationship mistakes’

Erotic Errors in the Pusuit of Love

Good judgment comes from experience, and
experience—well, that comes from poor judgment.

As a seasoned woman, my friend had seen much of life and her mind was full of memories while her eyes saw clearly with hindsight. Of her lovers, she remembered six who were wonderful and made her heart sing and seven others who were charming and considerate and who remained intimate friends for many years. So what about the rest of her lovers whose number shall remain discreetly vague?

The rest were mistakes. They were the error part in trial and error. They involved consent followed by regret. She did say yes but then realized she should have said maybe or even a resounding “no! never!” Like many women before her, she had often met with disillusionment, realizing too late that what she had anticipated would be a good encounter and a worthwhile experience had turned out to be distressing or embarrassing or degrading or just plain boring.

She would come home thinking about what happens “when lovely women stoop to folly” and would then resolve, “never again.” Ah, too soon old and too late smart. Had she known then what she knows now, she would never have become involved with many of those lovers. She would have noticed that they were wearing large labels saying Mistake, and she would have taken a cab home. Or better yet, she would never have gone out with them in the first place. A lot of grief—or, at the very least, wasted time—could have been avoided by saying, “I’m sorry, Harry, I can’t go to the movies with you next Tuesday night, I have to wash my hair. In fact, I will be washing my hair every night from here on till eternity.”

If she had known then what she knows now, she would have said, “No, John, I can’t go to the premiere with you, I have to watch this week’s episode of Desperate Housewives. Maybe some other year.” If she had known then what she knows now, she would have had only encounters ranging from nice to wonderful and would have skipped all the ones that had left an unpleasant aftertaste. So with the benefit of hindsight and maturity, she now consoles herself with Oscar Wilde’s observation: “Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.”

More next week…

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