How to Pick a Lover

Posts tagged ‘Kiss’

Love and Kisses


French Kiss

Self explanatory – no caption needed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There’s a line between love and fascination
That’s hard to see on an evening such as this,
For they both give the very same sensation
When you’re lost in the magic of a kiss.
—Ned Washington, “My Foolish Heart”)

Be sure to trust the kiss when picking lover. A kiss may feel magically romantic, or sloppily slobbery, or blissfully gentle, or perhaps too rough and toothy. It can either escalate or kill a relationship. No wonder, so much fuss has been made about kissing. Who kisses whom? when? where? how? How precisely does he feel? Do his lips and tongue feel? Kissing occurs in 95 percent of human societies and is believed to have been first recorded in Vedic Sanskrit texts around 500 BC in India.

Little kids think that the real self, the essence, is to be found in the tummy. For adults, however, the real self is found in the head, behind the eyes, and most of all, behind the mouth. In a recent study, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women said that they had become attracted to a person only after they had kissed the individual. Whereas, 50 percent of men and women reported in another study that their initial attraction to another person ended after the first kiss.

To lie with words is easy, but to lie with kisses is an unusual art. Those not familiar with the mores of commercial sex workers are surprised to learn that, often, a prostitute will do anything sexual that a john wants her to—except kiss him. She views sexual intercourse with kissing to be a more emotionally intimate activity than sexual intercourse without kissing. The mouth, being closer to the real self, is shared with more reluctance and is given with more meaning, not so much for its potential for sexual arousal as for its psychological import. Women are, however, more sexually aroused by kissing than are men.

A man can fake a lot of things—bravery, wealth, power, influence. But he can’t fake great kissing. Only a man who does it with unassuming honesty and romantic readiness can achieve great kissing. He is someone who values the pursuit for what it is: a pleasurable end in itself, not a means to an end. Pay attention to how he kisses you as well as to when and where. Does he savor your skin? Does he wait for your response and your encouragement, or does he grind on regardless? Remember, many men use kissing as a means to an end—namely, to gain sexual access. Just as kisses can reveal the real self, they can also reveal ineptness and a lack of awareness of you and your feelings.

There are few things sweeter than the right kiss at the right moment, and there are few things more oppressive than having to endure a suffocating and slobbering mouth that relentlessly obliterates your own.


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