How to Pick a Lover

Posts tagged ‘Foreplay’

Sexual Foreplay and Feedback

A good example of give and take is to take pains to give pleasure.
—Evan Esar

Making love is a sensation of the body as well as a fantasy of the mind. To be good, it must be just right—not too fast or too slow, too soft or too hard, too hesitant or too insistent. The professional call girl must be willing to put up with inept lovers and must do so tactfully and cheerfully. She is not seeking her own pleasure; she is working and she gets paid accordingly. However, unless you are using your sexuality like a call girl, there is no need for you to settle for inadequate lovemaking, and it is better for your morale and your self-respect not to. But how do you know the skillful from the clumsy? The first fact to remember is that no one but you can know what is sexually just right for you. You can feel your response getting better and warmer and more sensational—or not.

Remember as a child when you played Hide the Thimble? As people wandered around the room, they were told that they were either getting warmer or getting colder. Well, a lot of foreplay is just like that. He does something to you, you do something to him; and by gesture or words or little animal sounds, you tell each other if you are getting warmer or not.
To get these messages—assuming you are wise enough to send them out correctly—he must, first of all, be paying attention. He must be concerned with making you feel good. His concern for your comfort, his willingness to do what is needed to make you feel good will show in lots of other ways before you actually end up in bed.

For Whom the Bell Tolls (film)

Photo credit: Wikipedia

In the film version of Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ingrid Bergman tells Gary Cooper, “I did feel the earth move.” Sometimes, the earth does move, but you cannot arrange it anymore than you can arrange a conventional earthquake. It requires not only physical passion but also a combination of urgency and romance and adrenaline and perhaps some celestial event such as an eclipse of the moon.

You need not, should not, expect the earth to move every time. But you should expect every encounter to be, at the very least, pleasant and friendly.You should expect every encoun ter to be emotionally satisfying whether or
not it is orgasmic.

You do not have a right to earthquakes; but you do have a right to lovemaking that is, if not wonderful, at least consistently pleasurable.

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