How to Pick a Lover

Leisured society is full of people who spend a great part of their lives in flirtation and conceal nothing but the humiliating secret that they have never gone any further.
—George Bernard Shaw, Overruled

A couple may be obviously fond of each other. They may seek each other out and laugh at each other’s jokes and hold hands whenever they can. He may call her by a silly pet name, and she may respond “oh, you” in a suggestive and intimate voice. They may have many opportunities to have private time together and, presumably, every opportunity to have sex. And yet—they don’t.

Plato. Luni marble, copy of the portrait made ...

Plato (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Month after month, sometimes year after year, what appears to be a courtship, and a successful one at that, drags on and on and is neither consummated nor terminated. Such a wife has a lover in the affectionate and emotional and social sense of the word, but she remains inviolate. She has, in effect, a eunuch lover.

What they share is platonic love. As defined by author T. S. Winslow, platonic love is merely “love from the neck up.”

Comments on: "An Alternative: The Platonic Affair" (3)

  1. NormalDeviations said:

    The age-old question of emotional infidelity. I wonder if emotional infidelity is more fulfilling over the long term or if it’s more likely to cause more pain than sexual affairs.

    Or, affairs that include emotional infidelity and sexual infidelity.

    • I agree. Sex without a strong emotional connection is likely to be far less fulfilling than sex combined with strong emotions because it lacks the passion that makes lovemaking a fulfilling experience. I would rank one step above masturbation – but not by much.

  2. […] An Alternative: The Platonic Affair ( […]

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